I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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