i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
