I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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