apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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