I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
