You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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