All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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