why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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