Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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