found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
