Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
