well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
