so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am available for nakedness
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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