I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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