I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
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