All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
