Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
