you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
