Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
