he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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