Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
