maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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