you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
