If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
