I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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