carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
