Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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