And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
