Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
