out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
