You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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