I need help removing her.
time to smoke my breakfast
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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