he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
