I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She's JV to your varsity
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
