just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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