holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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