you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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