My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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