so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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