There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
