i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
