Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
