Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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