Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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