Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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