I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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