I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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