Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
