Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
