I wish I could punch you in the face.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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