I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
