I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
