i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
