I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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