I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
