Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm going to jail i love you
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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